btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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