The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
