roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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