Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
