Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
