haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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