I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
