Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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