I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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