my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
