I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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