He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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