What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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