you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
