just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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