GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
