well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
