My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
