yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So much Jack, so little girl.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
