i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dear god my vagina.
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