Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
