we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
