How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
