so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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