that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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