People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
