so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize