I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
