Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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