is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Pooping to opera.
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