Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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