we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
