I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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