i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
