He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
