It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let's get the cat blown out
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
