if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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