Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
