I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
