is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
