did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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