I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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