Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
