I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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