I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just found puke in my bra..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
