In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
did i just pee glitter
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
