my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
