you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
