dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
