I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
