meet me or not, i'm out of control
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
