Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
