I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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