Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Allisinfinite hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(989): View more from Michigan

return my video game

Fav 14 1343 2436
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

(1-407): View more from Florida

i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

Fav 21 4454 1046
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

Fav 200 8448 3060
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.

Fav 48 9623 1649
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes

Fav 10 4561 1209
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.

Fav 24 7916 2103
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.

Fav 5 1248 4705
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.

Fav 3 1048 614
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...

Fav 0 21 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT