Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
