If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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