Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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