All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
