I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
