I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
