if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
