do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
