Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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