What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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