i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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