I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
