she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
