Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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