Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize