Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
