i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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