He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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