Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
