Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
